The Hostess Diary: A Little Shower and Wedding Etiquette

Designing and preplanning go hand-in-hand.  To have the polished event you desire, the right prep steps can get you well on your way.  As we enter spring, events of the bridal and baby shower as well as wedding variety abound.  To start right as a hostess and as a guest, know the rules that call the shots today.  Etiquette is not a thing of the past.  If you need a refresher about what applies, you’ve come to the right place. 

When hosting a shower, invitations need to go in the mail 3 weeks prior to the event.  This allows time for guests to have them in their hand with more than 2 weeks notice.  When mailing wedding invitations, the current rule of thumb is mailing your invitations 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding.  Four weeks, which is done on occasion, is cutting it close.  One rule to not overlook is if a guest is invited to a bridal or couples shower, they are to also receive an invitation to the wedding.  Inviting someone to a shower, which elicits a gift, and not invite them to the wedding, is considered poor form.        

The use of “Save the Date” cards after an engagement is announced gives your wedding guests months of notice in most cases, and this practice is still optional.  For smaller family weddings, you may bypass a “Save the Date.”  For larger-scale weddings with guests traveling from a distance, a “Save the Date” can help your invited guests plan ahead with plenty of notice.  Some couples are foregoing a “Save the Date” card and setting up wedding websites instead, sharing all their wedding and guest travel and accommodations information online.     

Registries help brides-to-be and expectant mommies receive gifts from thoughtful family and friends that they are sure to use and enjoy because they had a hand in their selection.   How you share registry information is something to handle only one way: correctly.  Registry information is to be printed on shower invitations.  Showers are centered on bringing the recipient a gift.  Weddings are centered on celebrating the marriage of a couple.  And though it is customary to bring a gift to a wedding, registry information should NOT be included on a wedding invitation or added in a wedding invitation mailing in the form of a small insert.  Wedding guests know to ask close family members where the couple is registered; it should not glare at them from a wedding invite.    

Knowing the rules that reign over the behind-the-scenes of celebratory events can smooth the process for hosts and guests alike.  Plan accordingly, and you set yourself up for a successful event to be enjoyed by all who take part.      

DesignInMind column; appeared in the Valley Morning Star March 4th.